"So you graduated? Well, what's next?" "You're still living with your mom? How convenient." "What's your plan?" "Are you going back to Uganda?" "You're REALLY going to miss college when it's over..."
I get asked some form of these questions DAILY. Prepare yourself my blog readers...this one is gonna be a long one!
My 20 credit semester was challenging. The readings, the group projects, the "Boulder Bubble." All of it was less than amusing to me. I wanted to go back to Uganda. I wanted to be done with college. I've been told I'm going to miss CU... I agree, I will miss the class lectures that intrigued me and spurred me on to do something more relevant with my life. I will miss the beautiful mountains that look different every single day and the energy that comes from being around young 20-somethings with the world at their fingertips (or Daddy's trust fund in their back pocket). I won't miss the dark and crazy world that most of my peers live in. The temptation and cultural norms that SO many fall into. The false expectations and skewed perspectives that my classmates often have. All of this was a daily reminder of my past and why I couldn't wait to leave. It was also a great reminder of why I do ministry and just how big God is...
This semester has been filled with opportunity. Opportunity to excel in what I'm passionate about. Musana offered me a staff position when I left Uganda. Staying connected with an incredible organization that recently partnered with Flatirons Community Church was one of the most tangible blessings God has given me the past 6 months. The emails, questions and networking I have been able to do in this position has challenged me and has helped me stay involved in the lives of the precious kids I fell in love with almost 2 years ago. I would be lying if I said my heart doesn't constantly ache to be there with them in this season of growth at Musana. I want to be Auntie Lindsay again and I want to play and live the simple Ugandan life, but God has directed me down another path... at least for this next year :)
As the semester hit the halfway point I began focusing in on what life would look like outside of College. Outside of my temporary home of academia I have been living in for the past 18 years of my life. I've known for a while I want to be involved in ministry. Well, it turns out, ministry is a BIG world. It's a scary and overwhelming concept to begin to grasp. Thankfully, God has been teaching me to grasp opportunities and decisions loosely and with an open heart. It was November and all of a sudden I wasn't concerned about finding a job or new opportunity, I was thinking and praying through WHICH job or opportunity I was going to take. Random phone calls, emails, and conversations kept popping up. I quickly learned that all of this was not mine to control.
As January came out of nowhere I attended Passion 2012. A Christian conference in Atlanta Georgia with 40,000 students coming together to glorify His name and to make a difference as a generation.
This was my 3rd year attending. I had little expectation... I led a group of amazing, bright, bold and joyful high school girls to the conference whose spark for God turned into an undeniable flame and passion for His Kingdom. Honestly, and embarrassingly, I expected to go to Passion to just lead them. To help them have the best experience possible and to make sure 45,000 college students didn't swallow them up and spit them out. Boy was I wrong. Like a ton of bricks, God quickly changed my perspective. I began to realize it doesn't matter who I lead, what path I take, which direction I go, or what state I move to:
You can take away my ministry but you cannot take away my Jesus.
It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Him. So I took a step boldly in His direction. The last thing I wrote in my journal from the Passion talks was "Bold doesn't always mean loud." So my prayers quickly changed from asking God for "things" to happen and more for words. Words that I can fearlessly proclaim the name of Jesus. In whatever I do. Passion changed my heart, my perspective and my desires.
After I came home from Passion I jumped on a plane to Oklahoma City to visit the newest member of the family, Hadley (born in September) as well as the rest of the Wilkins clan that resides just outside of Oklahoma City. My brother and sister in law are incredible examples of living life for Christ.
After a whirlwind of a week, a door opened. I was offered a position as the LifeKids Program Coordinator at LifeChurch.tv in Stillwater Oklahoma.
I know what you're thinking blog reader... "Stillwater, Oklahoma?! What could possibly be there?!"
Besides a town that is practically painted orange from school pride, Eskimo Joes, sweet tea at every restaurant, and some genuine, nice, and welcoming people....
I have no idea.
The cool part? I don't have to know. God knows. This is within HIS will, HIS plan and HIS timing. My decision was quick, I move in 2 weeks. I'm terrified. Besides the incredible staff and awesome "church" I know no one. The couple of days I spent in Stillwater gave me an overwhelming sense of peace that I was not expecting. I feel like I have grown up the past week. I feel confident and bold. Confident that my community and my youth group girls will be just fine without me and bold that with my God for me, nothing can stand against me. It all goes back to my ministry, comfort zone and community dissolving and returning to Jesus. That's it. Plain and simple.
Jesus.
So... my new temporary home? Stillwater. In a tiny 1 bedroom apartment an hour away from my niece and 9 hours away from my current "home".
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